Its One in the Morning

So... It is one in the morning, and Im trying to figure out why I am still up! So much on my mind! I have never been so happy, and at the same time, I have never thought so much in my life! lol...

 I was going through a book I read a little over a year ago called Passions and Purity and this passage jumped out at me:

"Our vision is so limited we can hardly imagine a love that does not show itself in protection from suffering. The love of God is of a different nature altogether. It doesn not hate tragedy. It never denies reality. It stands in the very teeth of suffering. The love of God did not protect His own Son. That was the proof of His love- that He gave that Son, that He let Him go to Calvary's cross, though "legions of angels" might have rescued Him. He will not necessarily protect us- not from anything it takes to make us like His Son. A lot of hammering and chiseling and purifying by fire will have to go into the process."

WOW! How true this is! Our vision, our mindset is sooooo..... limited! We can not face the reality of what love truly is! Like Elliot said, God's love does not hate tragedy, it does not deny reality, and it stands in the very teeth of suffering. None of these things sound very appealing to me! Who wants to go through tragedy? I have a very hard time facing reality at times, and I really do not enjoy suffering in any form! This is love? YES!

See, God held nothing back when it came to us! He showed us, he granted us, the ultimate love!  Human kind, His own creation, had turned its back on Him! Why would he ever want to give up His only Son to save an insignificant race of people? Because we werent insignificant to Him! He loved us and did not want to imagine spending eternity without us. He gave Jesus as a sacrifice; He allowed His own son to be put to death so that we would have the chance to live with Him. That is love!

A lot of times we enjoy the thought of love but we dont want the work that goes into it! In order to be in a relationship with God, we are not always going to be protected from suffering or tragedy, but that does not mean that we are not loved, it just means that God is sitting back and allowing us to be put through the fire so that we can grow to be more like Christ. Its the same with any relationship; we have to realize that a lot of work goes into the process of developing one! The ones that are worth keeping will push past all of the suffering and pain and will hold on knowing that it is only for a season. Loving someone means realizing that things arent always going to be perfect; there will be times when you will be hurt by the other, and there are times when you feel like it is next to impossible to go on, but look at it this way... Love is a choice! Its not just a feeling, it is a choice. To love God, to serve God is a choice! One we all must make! But it is a choice that is worth making. The suffering, the pain is worth it! The good times out-weigh the bad! Plus they help make you into a stronger person, and stronger Christian, a stronger daughter, son, mother, father, brother, sister, husband, wife, .... the list goes on!

Hmmm.... Well, i believe I am going to try and go back to sleep! Maybe I will write more tomorrow! Hope everyone has a blessed day!

~Kat

Ps. Please disregard any misspellings or grammatical errors! I refuse to proofread tonight! lol

Currently Listening Arriving By Chris Tomlin, Steven Curtis Chapman How Great is Our God see related

Hmmm...

I have been thinking a lot tonight! I was talking to Jeff tonight a little about the calling that God has on my life, and I started thinking about the road that I am on now. A few years ago I never would have seen myself where I am at now; sure I wanted to go to college, but it wasnt as important as getting married and having a family! I wanted it so badly that I almost gave up everything that I was working for just to have what my flesh wanted!

Here I am only a few years later, but more in tuned with what God wants for my life! I realize now how many mistakes God kept me from making and how much He loves me and wants to see His plan for my life fulfilled!

I was thinking about Psalm 37:4-5 where it says," Delight thyself also in the Lord and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. Commit thy way unto the Lord; trust also in him, and he shall bring it to pass."

When we begin following the Lord and commiting everything we are and everything we have to Him and also trust Him, then His desires for our lives become the desires of our hearts! 

I knew what God wanted from me, but I wasnt sure I could give it!  I had to realize that it isnt about Me, it is about God and what He wants for my life. Jeremiah 29:11 says "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. They are plans for good and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope."  God has our future set out for us; he wants only good things for our lives!! We have a purpose, and God has chosen that purpose.

I found a card in my wallet that my mother had given me when I started High School that said, "Is what your living for, worth dying for?"  The card had a picture of Jesus with a crown of thorns on His head, his arms spread wide, and marks on his back from where He had been beaten. I sat and thought about what Christ had done for me and realized that what I was living for was the world and it sure wasnt worth dying for! I told myself that Christ thought I was worth dying for and He is the only one worth giving my life to!!

God,
  Please dont ever let me forget why I am here! My purpose is to serve You with all that I am!! You have chosen me to reach this lost and dying world with Your message of love and hope, and for that I am thankful! You are amazing Lord!!!

Currently Listening Lifesong By Casting Crowns Set Me Free see related

Camp Camp Camp

Sooo...... It has been a while since I have done one of these, and since it is 1:10 in the morning and I have nothing else to do since I can not sleep, maybe it is a good time to catch up!

I just got done working West Virginia Sr. and Jr. Camp and they were both a blessing to me. I was def. in need of Senior Camp though! Jamie and Brandon and I all were able to pray together once again, and there is something that i cant explain other than GOD that happens when the three of us get together and  pray. God began openning my eyes to things that week that I need to change in my life, and he also set me free from things that have held me captive for quite a few years.

I was able to help out with the drama team that week, and actually participated in a drama to the song Set Me Free by Casting Crowns. While I was playing my part in the drama God showed me how He was setting me free and breaking the chains from the demons in my life. I had held on to so many things for so long, and I cant express the freedom that I feel now that I have allowed Jesus Christ to set me free from the chains that were holding me. I do believe it is in 2 Corinthians where Paul writes "Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." The Spirit of the Lord has come into my life and there is a freedom there that the enemy didnt give me and the enemy cant take it away!!! I could go on and on about this stuff but that will be in another post.

One of the major blessings I recieved from Sr. Camp was being able to pray with all of my girls individually! I had 8 girls in my cabin, and one night durring the altar call, Bro. Tim had us split off into cabing groups and asked each of the Cabin Leaders to pray over each of their cabins. I cant express the annointing I felt as I prayed for each of the girls; I was blessed to be used of the Lord to touch their lives. I know that the Lord changed their lives that night, and as I reached the last girl and I was through praying with her, I turned to find the other girls praying for each other and then going off and praying for other campers! That night was confirmation in my spirit that I do have a calling on my life to work with young people, and I wouldnt want to be any other place or doing anything else.

Junior Camp was a challenge for me, but the Lord taught me many things throughout the week. I learned more and more of what it is to be a servant!! I came in contact with a lot of disrespectful kids, but through it as I look back on it, the Lord taught me a major lesson in ministry. In the ministry there are going to be times when the people are receptive to what the Lord has you speaking or teaching or whatever technique the Lord has you using, and then other times there are going to be people that reject you, but the Lord says in the scripture that when they are rejecting you, it is not you that they are rejecting, it is actually the Lord they are rejecting.  That made my heart hurt worse to think that there are people that are rejecting the one who died for them.  I have lived my life without Christ and I was miserable the entire time; I just cant understand how people can go their entire lives not knowing the love and the peace that I find in my savior.

Soo... overall these past two weeks ahve been life changing experiences, and I am thankful that the Lord gave me the opportunity to work the two camps. I miss my West Virginia friends! It was great being able to see Melissa and Jeff durring Jr. camp! I miss them both and cant wait to see Jessica and the baby when she comes!!! 

I pray that you all are doing well and I will chat with y'all soon!!!

~Kitty Kat

Currently Reading Sun Also Rises By Ernest Hemingway see related

Here are some pics that were taken on a recent trip to our International Youth Conference in Tennessee!!! I had an amazing time, and the Lord really blessed me and changed my heart!

Here are some friends of mine: Scotty, Ashely, Sara, and Angela!

Here I am with Scotty, Ashely and Sarah!!

Here I am with Sarah baby!!! I miss her so much!! (She is originally from Ohio, but moved to Florida for school and now goes to one of our churches there).

These are some dear friends of mine that now pastor a church in Virginia! I was so excited when I saw them at the conf.!!!! I love and miss you guys!!!

Here is a picture of myself with my friend Davey from West Virginia!

Here is a picture of me with my friend Andrew from Alabama!!! :: Starts singing: Sweet Home Alabama... lalalala::

My friend Dave A. and I! He is from Ohio and one of I-towns finest!!! :) Gotta love our I-town boys!

Yeee Haw!!! Yeah I dont know what I was thinking here!! It was a long drive back and we stopped at a Cracker Barrel!!! Its a pretty bad picture but I thought it was funny! Behind me is a very tired Theadore Austin and his pet lion!!

So the trip was fun, and I got to meet up with some friends that i dont see very often!!! Yeah!!! But most of all the Lord showed me a lot that weekend, and I am soooo thankful for the things He has shown me and promised me! I'll share it all with you in a different post!!! Good night my friends!!! God Bless!!!

Currently Reading Sun Also Rises By Ernest Hemingway see related

Hmmmm....

So, here I am... It is 2:04 a.m. and I am having a hard time sleeping! This past week has been amazing!! God is changing my life, and I know it is becoming more and more evident. Tim Farmer came for a revival and he and I went out to eat on Monday with my little brother, but durring our meeting, he pointed out a few things that changed my outlook on things all together. He stated that revival isnt all together about souls being saved (now that is a plus, and always a blessing) but it is more about a refreshing and a renewal. WOW... That has to come within us before we reach others for Christ.

I have also thought about my future a lot this past week. God has told me to just wait on Him, that he is using this time to prepare me for the things that He has instore for the future. Sometimes that can be easier said than done with me! I have two more years left of college, and then I am going to be moving out of the state of Ohio. Im not sure where I am going yet, but all I know is that I am moving. That is exciting, but at the same time it is a scarry thought. I have grown up here in Ohio, and everyone and everything I have ever known is right here. Dont get me wrong, God has layed traveling on my heart, and I know that this is something that not only I have to do for Him, but it is something that I am going to take joy in, but it is also something very sad for me. I am feeling mixed emotions...

Andrew and I just found out a couple of weeks ago that we are incharge of the Young Adult ministry at our church now, and that I will also start preaching more. That is exciting, but at the same time it is making me realize that promises God made me long ago are now beginning to surface. I also lead worship for the first time in a really really long time the other night, and I knew that night that I was right where I needed to be. Hmm... I know this post is all over the place, but at the same time, I feel as though my brain is all over the place also!

Hmm... My prayer tonight,is for God to just break me down, and mold me into what he wants me to be. Ive tried to live on my own and I only make a mess of things; He is in control!!

So, I think Im going to try and get some sleep now, maybe I will write some tomorrow!! Later!!! ;)